For the longest time, I prayed the lyrics to the song Oceans by Hillsong. The part that goes “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me.” Here’s the funny thing about those kind of prayers. God answers them. Shocker, right? He takes that plea and then gives you situations where you have to trust Him and fully rely on His wisdom and strength.
But guess what? It’s not easy. Like, at all. I’ve been called into places and positions this summer that put me at odds with God. I wrestled with Him more than once until I realized that this is what I asked for.. that He would take me on an adventure and that I would learn to trust unquestionably. I’m not saying that I accomplished this successfully nor that I ever even will accomplish unquestionably trusting God successfully. But it seems pretty straightforward to talk about, right?
The Man Upstairs knows what’s at the end of my life, He knows what’s going to happen in the next second, the next hour…for Him, my future is already a memory. Yet for some reason, when some curveball gets thrown in my way, I ask why and cry for days that that’s not how I planned my life and who even is writing this story right now. Like, oh really? Because I’m the one who plans my life in the first place. I have the power to give life and take it away. Because I was around for all of eternity and I know what’s best for not only myself, but for all of mankind ever. So that kind of puts me in my place.
Writing this, it all makes so much sense. Putting it into practice is another story, however. Plot twists, I’ve come to realize, come a lot more often in life than I expected they would. I’d say that things don’t always go as planned, but when you think about it, who’s the One planning it anyway?
Confession time: I’m not good at the whole trusting thing.
I’m a planner and it has taken several attempts on God’s part to hit me in the face with the fact that I’m not the one in control of my life. I think He’s starting to get through to me. I’ve also come to realize that though I don’t understand a lot of plot twists God writes in, I’m more and more thankful that I’m not the one holding the pen that authors my life. He knows what’s best and works for the good of those who love Him (holla atcha Romans 8:28). I don’t always have to understand, but what I do have the confidence to say is that I’m in good hands (thanks for ruining such a good catchphrase, Allstate.) But really, though. He knows what’s up and I’m beyond grateful that He’s got my back.
Ramble over, the moral of the story is this: Well, there are two morals.
- Ask and you will receive, my friends.
- Learning to trust God is an every day kind of lesson.